Blue Friday: " I Want to See It."

[Illustration: Victor Juhasz--Biggo Viggo: Mr. Mortensen fights naked in Eastern Promises. From the New York Observer.]

I just read this great article in the New York Observer called "Members Only." It's about how a new trend in American moving images has men exposed and objectify-able as women have been since Lois Weber's The Hypocrites in 1914. Among other things, the article discusses a new HBO series called Tell Me You Love Me and an upcoming release called Eastern Promises, in which Viggo "Hunk" Mortensen does full frontal (again) in a fight scene.

I've always wondered about the double standard for male versus female nudity. I know, I know: women allegedly aren't as visually stimulates as men, so there's no need to show a man's jewels to sell tickets. Because--like--all moviegoers are straight people. So, maybe this is just a victory for the gays. But I don't think so.

And I don't mean to say that selling tickets is the only reason to show a man nude. I greatly respect David Cronenberg's work--that and Viggo's jewels are going to put this film on my list even though the trailer doesn't really appeal to me. (Unlike certain tween idols, Viggo could certainly bring sexy back if it had ever left--and since Viggo's been around since before such popfluffies were frosting their hair, there is proof that it never left.) Plusly, the conversations Viggo and he had about the nude scene seem to have been artistically motivated. I guess my interest in the topic is not why there is now a market for male nudity in films for whatever reason; I wanna know why there was some unwritten law about male nudity in mainstream films for so long.

Men walk around shirtless all the time. A woman has to wear a bra or something to cover her rack, but a guy can saunter down mainstreet in nothing more than cutoffs all over America. I wonder if it's something about an unwritten code among the men who have traditionally run (everything) Hollywood: don't make him show how wee he is. But even then, you'd think people like Frank Sinatra, rumored to be HUGE, would have pushed to have their business on display when in films.

Whatever the reason, I'm all over this new trend. If every other boy on the street can show plumber's crack or skidmarked boxers, it's high time we see the naughty bits of BOTH sexes when appropriate (or just plain yummy) in American films.

Blue Friday: "What About Blowjobs"

Leave it to my friend C. and Margaret Cho to introduce me to the best stuff on the internets. This time, it's Reggie Watts.



Mr. Watts offers some sound advice, though I personally feel that the hand-on-shaft portion is only necessary when the mouth isn't up to the task. And the crossroads he describes at the end puzzles me as a gay man: why do all that work and then skip the payoff? "Get out of the way," he offers; that's like leaving the cake out in the rain, in my opinion.

By all means, though, do "cradle the balls."

Planet Unicorn Heeyyyyyy!

"In the year 2117, an eight year old gay boy named Shannon found a magic lamp. He was granted three wishes. The first: a fur jacket. The second: a flying car. And the third was a planet full of unicorns. This is the story of that planet."

This is simply the coolest, most twisted cartoon I've ever seen. Careful: once you get it in your head, you're likely to be hooked.

Oh, and just so you know before you hit play, it is G- to the A-Y.