Blue Friday: " I Want to See It."

[Illustration: Victor Juhasz--Biggo Viggo: Mr. Mortensen fights naked in Eastern Promises. From the New York Observer.]

I just read this great article in the New York Observer called "Members Only." It's about how a new trend in American moving images has men exposed and objectify-able as women have been since Lois Weber's The Hypocrites in 1914. Among other things, the article discusses a new HBO series called Tell Me You Love Me and an upcoming release called Eastern Promises, in which Viggo "Hunk" Mortensen does full frontal (again) in a fight scene.

I've always wondered about the double standard for male versus female nudity. I know, I know: women allegedly aren't as visually stimulates as men, so there's no need to show a man's jewels to sell tickets. Because--like--all moviegoers are straight people. So, maybe this is just a victory for the gays. But I don't think so.

And I don't mean to say that selling tickets is the only reason to show a man nude. I greatly respect David Cronenberg's work--that and Viggo's jewels are going to put this film on my list even though the trailer doesn't really appeal to me. (Unlike certain tween idols, Viggo could certainly bring sexy back if it had ever left--and since Viggo's been around since before such popfluffies were frosting their hair, there is proof that it never left.) Plusly, the conversations Viggo and he had about the nude scene seem to have been artistically motivated. I guess my interest in the topic is not why there is now a market for male nudity in films for whatever reason; I wanna know why there was some unwritten law about male nudity in mainstream films for so long.

Men walk around shirtless all the time. A woman has to wear a bra or something to cover her rack, but a guy can saunter down mainstreet in nothing more than cutoffs all over America. I wonder if it's something about an unwritten code among the men who have traditionally run (everything) Hollywood: don't make him show how wee he is. But even then, you'd think people like Frank Sinatra, rumored to be HUGE, would have pushed to have their business on display when in films.

Whatever the reason, I'm all over this new trend. If every other boy on the street can show plumber's crack or skidmarked boxers, it's high time we see the naughty bits of BOTH sexes when appropriate (or just plain yummy) in American films.

Clarification: Flip-flops on Men vs. Flip-flops as Men's Fashion

Well Hello feet!
Originally uploaded by saraab

I blogged recently about the absurd column I read pushing flip-flops to men as one of the five it-clothes to have for summer. As I'd spent a good bit of time annoyed with that fuaxhawked fashion-ick-sta, I left that post feeling good about life again. I'd said my piece.

Some of my friends have pressed me, though, to post a clarification. I did not mean to say that men should not wear flip-flops. As I thought I had indicated, men with lovely feet (such as those in the accompanying photo) are welcome to wear flip-flops any time, all the time, provided they can keep them on their feet.

What I believe to be abhorrent about them is the recommendation that they are: fashionable; appropriate for men at large to wear; and can be worn into the evening. To hear that sort of crud from someone who's a "guide" to fashion is to hear someone recommend that the street is the coolest type of playground. That's just irresponsible.

You got purty feet? Wear 'em away. Don't try to tell me they're appropriate for evening--or fashionable--but feel free to wear them.

I hope this will put the matter to rest. My soul longs to have the darkness of the flip-flop flap behind us.

Blue Friday: "What About Blowjobs"

Leave it to my friend C. and Margaret Cho to introduce me to the best stuff on the internets. This time, it's Reggie Watts.



Mr. Watts offers some sound advice, though I personally feel that the hand-on-shaft portion is only necessary when the mouth isn't up to the task. And the crossroads he describes at the end puzzles me as a gay man: why do all that work and then skip the payoff? "Get out of the way," he offers; that's like leaving the cake out in the rain, in my opinion.

By all means, though, do "cradle the balls."

He's bringing sexy back?

Justin Timberlake "Huh?"
Originally uploaded by jurvetson

Okay, so, let me get this straight. I can see that Justin Timberlake might be bringing scruffy back. But I've failed to shave regularly since before he needed to. Is it perhaps the sexy that was sucked into a void during his boyband days that he's willing to let return by virtue of having ceased to perm and highlight his hair?

Golf is not sexy. Not shaving is not sexy. You have to be sexy to be sexy. Justin's cute. And the boy can move. But sexy? Not so much.

I know the world takes all kinds of people, and that one man's sexy is another man's wtf. I'm glad to let anyone who cares to say so identify anyone as sexy. Brando, for example, hit such heights of sexy as to have been locked in right up until he drew his last breath; if someone said "I think Marlon Brando is totally sexy in Last Tango in Paris," I'd be okay with it, 'cause that man smoldered back in the day. [Plus, I just looked up some stills from that film, and he was still smokin' hot, though less fresh.]

So, I guess what I mean to say is, "Justin, nobody took sexy away, and it will take more of a man than you to bring it back. Keep bustin' your moves--you're seriously super talented as a dancer. But if I have to hear one more time you proclaiming to the world that you're so sexy you're bringing it back, I'm gonna start shaving more regularly in protest."